Crazy Lab Shenanigans!

Laboratory Christmas Decorations

Seasons Greetings! As we all know, it is loads of fun to put up Christmas decorations. Sadly, some people are so busy they never get the chance to put up more than a couple. Then again, others go totally the other way and put up decorations at every possible place! Unfortunately, these types have ways of creating hazards and slowing down production. It can be said for those who want to spruce up their lab spaces with some nice holiday decor. It's a nice thing to do, but many precautions must be taken. Therefore, let us go through the overly festive lab and point out what not to do when making your lab all nice for Christmas.

1. A wreath is a very nice decoration, especially big wreaths. However, I don't think putting a 2-foot diameter one over the incubator door is such a good idea.

2. Making egg nog in the shaking water bath? Are you insane? Do you have any idea not only how much of a health hazard that is but also that it'll ruin the water bath?

3. The idea behind mistletoe is, um, cute. Whatever. But if you insist on enforcing the kissing rule, place the mistletoe at a very low traffic spot. Or, better yet, don't put it up anywhere. Labs can be busy. Should the lab techs waste their time kissing each other because a dried up dead plant apparently tells them so?

4. I must say, I like the idea of putting up Christmas lights. Labs can be so dull and boring, and they just cry out for something more visually stimulating (you know, despite the very pretty colors you can see when chemicals get mixed weird). However, don't put up the blinking kind if someone in the lab area is prone to seizures. Also, what good are they? The fluorescent lights will tone them down so you wouldn't even be able to tell if they're on. And don't go shutting off the main lights, leaving the colored string lights to be the only things illuminating the room. Not when exact color of stuff is so vital.

5. Don't bring tinsel anywhere near the lab. That stuff gets everywhere. In fact, don't use tinsel ever for anything. It always looks terrible. What moron thought it would ever make a good decoration?

6. Garland can be okay, but don't go nuts. Draping it across the chemical shelves just gets in the way and can make people drop stuff. If it drags on the floor, somebody might trip over it and spill a dangerous substance. Tape might come loose, dropping part of it into the 1000mL beaker full of expensive media sitting on the hot stir plate.

7. Hanging stockings might be okay if it's in a safe place, but please don't put any candy in them. Don't bring food into the lab. Any candy put in those stockings will just have to be thrown out, and throwing out otherwise good candy is not nice.

8. Finally, lab space is precious. Just about every square inch of the lab has some necessary use. Sometimes it's space for a drawer or cabinet to open out. Sometimes it gives ample room to work in the laminar flow hood. Other times, it makes you breathe a little easier when you're carrying something caustic that's filled to the top. Therefore, while I'm sure you mean well, there is no place in the lab suitable for a fully laden ten foot Douglas fir tree with a musical angel on top, five different strings of lights, several dozen glass ornaments, complete with olive wood nativity set, tree skirt, and no fewer than 50 wrapped gifts.

Merry Christmas!!!

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