Crazy Lab Shenanigans!

Chemical Storage

Ammonium Sulfate: "Isn't anyone going to use me for anything? I've gone unused for at least six months now."

Potassium Hydroxide: "You think YOU have problems? I'll be expired next week. I've only been used once."

L-(+)-Histidine: "Tell me about it! They bought me a year ago and I haven't been used yet. I may have been an accident. Apparently the lab tech who bought me was chastised about it. She was supposed to have gotten D-(+)-Histidine."

D-(+)-Histidine: "Hey, what can I say! I'm wanted. I got used just yesterday. I feel so special."

L-(+)-Histidine: "Oh, shut up!"

Calcium Chloride: "Look at me! Two liter container! They must think I'm important to get so much of me. I rock."

Sodium Acetate: "Is that so? How come you're not even a quarter used?"

Calcium Chloride: "That's because I'm so big, of course. The amount they've taken from me would be almost all of you."

Potassium Hydroxide: "CaCl's got a point. Getting used means you had meaning. That you were right there in so many important media and buffers. Expiring means much of you must be discarded, that some of you will never be so needed."

Glucose: "That is so sad. I'm sure glad being a simple sugar means I have lots of meaning. I wish the same for all of you. In fact, I'll bet there are things many of you can do that the lab techs have yet to figure out."

Ammonium Sulfate: "That would be so wonderful. I wish they'd remember I'm here. Instead, I'm shoved towards the back."

Ammonium Hydroxide: "Well, I have to be in front of you. They use me so much more often."

Ammonium Sulfate: "Sure, brag about it!"

Silver Nitrate: "You all think you have problems? You know how long I've been sitting here. It was 1972 they bought me! That's right. I've sat here listening to you all complain for 33 years! Newer versions of me have been purchased during that time and all got used. You know, I'd probably feel better if they just threw me out. At least I will have been acknowledged. Most I get nowadays are inventory-takers reading my catalog and CAS numbers, grimacing at how long I've been here. The pity is nice, but other than that, no one ever remembers old AgNO₃."

L-(+)-Histidine: "That's just too bad. I'm sure they'll remember you eventually. The research cycles may shift in your favor soon enough. That's what I hope for myself anyway."

Glycerin: "I've been asleep. What'd I miss?"

Potassium: "Good Lord! When do they ever use you, Glycerin?"

Glycerin: "Eh, sometimes. Is that what you all are yapping about again? Jeeze."

Sodium Acetate: "Surprised you're not more concerned."

Glycerin: "And why should I be? I have my uses here and there. I trust the lab techs. If they need me, great. If not, I'm not worried about it. All that matters is I'm here for them if they need me. That is a good feeling in and of itself."

Boric Acid: "Will you all shut up? I'm trying to sleep. I may be used tomorrow and I'd like to be tip-top."

Ammonium Sulfate: "At least you may get used, which is more than many of us can say?"

Glycerin: "Hey, now, (NH₄)₂SO₄, what did I just say?"

Boric Acid: "You know what, guys? I don't care. Maybe if you'd quit whining all the time about never being used, you'll actually be used. There are uses for every one of us. Just sit tight and be ready. They use you. If not, you can't say you didn't try. Now shut up so I can sleep!"

Some rattling came from the Flammable cabinet.

Ethanol: "Be quiet, all of you! At least you get to be out on the shelf and not locked away in a metal cabinet."

Calcium Chloride: "Shut up, Ethanol. You get used at least several times a day."

2-Mercaptoethanol: "How do you guys think I feel? I'm just a 500 mL bottle stuck behind a bunch of four liter Ethanol bottles. No one ever sees me."

Boric Acid: "Oh, goodness. Is this going to continue? All of you be quiet so I can sleep. Goodnight!"

Some rattling came from the Corrosive cabinet.

Hydrochloric Acid: "Boric, you're just all stuck up because you're an acid but still get to be on the regular shelf unlike the rest of us."

Boric Acid: "Don't you start!"

Hydrochloric Acid: "It means you're weak. You're a weak acid. Ha!"

Boric Acid: "Whatever. Just shut up so I can sleep!"

Sulfuric Acid: "Enough from all you. I'm the powerful one. Haven't you ever heard the rhyme? Once you were alive, but now you are no more, because what you thought was water was H₂SO₄."

Hydrochloric Acid: "Oh, for the love of all that is holy, get over yourself. You recite that at least ten times a day."

Dimethyl Sulfoxide: "You know, now that I think about it, I get used quite a bit. A little at a time, but I'm very much appreciated."

Potassium Hydroxide: "Oh, Lord. Go away, DMSO. Just go away."

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